I Broke the Fast

It was the kielbasa that did me in.

After giving up meat for Lent, I ate some at our family Easter celebration on Sunday. Mass was lovely, the egg hunt my sister and I set up for the kids was a mad, squealing scramble, and the spread was, well, quite a spread: sliced ham, kielbasa, a full cheese board I put together, whitefish salad (interfaith marriage in the family), pickled cabbage, Polish mashed beets, boquerones (pickled anchovies) gardiniera, pepperoncini, the greenest Cerignola olives you’ve ever seen, and then some. It beckoned me.

I took two plates of appetizers, starting with the anchovies, cheeses and olives and a conversation with my father. I then moved on to the beets, cabbage, some whitefish salad, more anchovies and a mess of gardiniera for the strength I needed to perform an intervention between my daughter and too much Easter basket candy.

I don’t know if it was conscious or not, but still I took no meat. Then I made a plate for my daughter. And a third for myself. That kielbasa was my downfall. I took a sample bite while negotiating the spread. The skin snapped as I bit in. The silky, steaming fatty juice gushed over my tongue and the spice flooded my willing mouth. It was hot, salty, juicy and sliced thick. My mom doesn’t mess around. I heaped some ham and fruit on my daughter’s plate, then went straight for the kielbasa, spooning grainy mustard and two types of horseradish on the side for myself.

After that, we all had a late lunch of lamb. I ate that too.

It wasn’t a fully debauched gorging festival of flesh in the afternoon, and the small slice of lamb I took was tender, served with my wine reduction glaze. But it was all downhill from there. That kielbasa still called my name during clean-up, as I’d cruise past the tray en route to the dishwasher and scam another slice. Mom sent me home with some leftovers. All but one slice was gone by midnight. And no, I didn’t respect myself in the morning.

I’m a little water retentive from all the salt, but that will pass. But gastrointestinally, I feel like I’m paying for it today.

I did my best for the Lord during Lent, but the flesh is weak and the frailties of humanity infinite.

God, grant me pardon and absolution.